Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Date

I don't like the concept of dating.

Yet here I am in my early 20's and single.  I feel the need to relent to the dating scene.

But I hate the form.  Hate that it automatically applies pressure to both parties involved.  Obligates each to impress.

Then there is the possibility of rejection, or rejecting.  Either significantly daunting.

I just want to get to know a girl for who she is.  Without this instant physical aspect involved.  For dating choices are only made by physical appearances and initial surface manifestations of character.  And then there is the factor of being isolated in one another's company.  Just tempting interaction beyond communication.  Having the potential to delay realizations of incompatibility.

But relying on the possibility of getting to know a girl as a friend before initiating any romantic sense of a relationship is growing more and more unattractive.  Largely because of the time factor.  As we say, I'm not getting any younger.

So here I rest.  Desiring a relationship of significance with a member of the opposite sex.  But relatively incapable of initiating one due to lack of experience in this area.  Hell, I'm not "lacking" in experience, I have no experience.  I have never, not once, asked a girl out on a date.

Here I would like to blame my Christian upbringing, which is partially to blame, but a large portion of the blame is really on myself for reasons already stated.  Christian kids ask out people all the time.

In conclusion I need to grow some balls and ask a girl out.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Lines

Trying out the new B-spot layout.  Seems nice.

A man that plays trumpet in the worship team at church gave me some advice today.  He said to "Stay in line."

I was telling him about some of my post graduation ideas.  Maybe moving to VC or NY.  Or remaining in Denver and trying to break in to the film scene here.  And his statement was meant to encourage me to remain in a place until I have attained what I am looking for.  Otherwise I may never attain it.

Because people get restless.  Move around.  Loose their so called "Place in line."  And never really attain what they are looking for.

But the people who stay, they move up simply because other people "Leave their place in line."  So maybe you are talented, maybe you have something to offer, but a lot of the time you get where you want in a career because you stick it out.  You wait your turn.

This scares me a little.  I kind of like being a vagabond.  I have been in Denver only two years, and already want to do some more moving and shaking.  It would be nice to stay here, but i am afraid of falling in to a routine.  Becoming complacent.

But at the same time remaining could help me achieve some form of success in life, so that i could afford to travel.  Afford to be a little restless.

Maybe I will find a happy medium in this.  Savor my youth and be a little irresponsible.  And then find my place in line.  Someplace I know I will be happy for 10, 15, 20 years.  Maybe i don't need to find my place right now.  Maybe I can take my ticket in 5.