-Ashley Hawkins-
I was going to start this post off by saying "Merry Christmas errrbody!" But then i realized it is 12:15 AM and Xmas ended 15 minutes ago. O how time flies...
It is a crazy thing. I feel like i was just talking to the guys about how it is going to be so much fun when they come out. How i could not wait. That was like four months ago. And now they will be here (with the exception of Landon who comes a little later) in about 2 and a half hours. I feel like the last 6 months of my life have kind of escaped me.
I think part of the problem is that i feel devoid of purpose. It is like my main goal in life right now is to go to school...and i think you all know how i feel about school. And i also have no one really close to me to share my days with. So i tend to just float by waiting for the future to come about. And i don't like that. Cause then when good things happen that i have been looking forward to (like this Grand Canyon adventure), they come and go, and i get bummed out again, waiting for the next thing to happen. And i don't know what God wants me to do...
And that is another thing. As i was waiting to come back to Arizona, i began to just let time pass with out a lot of consideration to what i was doing. And i let my relationship with God slip, and replaced Him with other things. And so it is like a vicious circle...i need guidance, but in the absence of guidance i go astray. Perhaps there in lies the point. God is teaching me patience and endurance...
So i am not sure where i am going from here. I do have plans for the next six months or so, and possible ideas for afterwards, but i am really not one-hundred percent positive. I really just want a clear vision from God. Perhaps having all the guys here will help. I know it is going to be so good...i just wish i wasn't so tired right now. Haha.
Well. I don't really feel like posting this...it isn't all that great. But o well, i am over-due! Sorry about my absence guys.
