Sloppy

I'm sloppy.

I wish love at first sight were really possible. I saw a girl on a bike today and i fell in love. But we all know that isn't really love. Just lust. Cause i don't know anything about her soul. But her smile sure made me want to believe it is beautiful, and full of life. That she could make me happy just by sitting across from me at a coffee shop.

I think that it is going to be very hard for me to find the "right" girl now. No longer being a believer, but still holding to a lot of the truths. I think this is why we should teach philosophy to children. Not only do we not teach religion in public schools, we do not even teach a way of thinking about morality. It makes sense why kids end up like stupid little fucks. They don't even know how to rationalize right and wrong. Not that christian kids know how to do that, but at the very least they have someone telling them what's right and what's wrong.

It is largely the problem of parenting. Stupid people raising stupid kids. I use to have the idealistic notion as a kid that as people grew up they learned how to behave, learned how to be fair, and kind. But this is far from the truth. As an adult i have realized that character stays the same, that while people gain responsibility, they don't always gain maturity. Hence i have two divorced uncles who can't pay rent and mooch off of my grandma and parents. Both of whom have multiple children. Who are also making poor decisions. I rest my case.

Maybe this is natures way of keeping the population under control. Stupid people tend to die quicker. If only stupidity meant infertility.

This is why i need an intelligent wife. So i can feel secure in copulating.

Slip

I am slipping back in to a time of less sleep. It coincides with company. When there are people within my sphere of what we all call home i tend to sleep fewer hours.

It's funny though, cause i could go to sleep now, there is no one up with me, but i am choosing to stay up later. Given, i can sleep in tomorrow, but there is the possibility Mark will cause me to awake sooner than i would have living in my own apartment.

This is both good and bad. I was wondering when this time would come around again.

One definite pro is that i seem to have these flurries of thought late at night when i am near comatose. This always seems odd to me. Not sure if it has something to do with my brain slipping in to processing mode, but it is now when i usually have these brilliant, poetic, lyrical moments. Although you might be sitting there shaking your brain at mine. Perhaps i just believe i am being more brilliant because i am delirious.

I wonder about what my clothing speaks to strangers and friends around me. I found this orangish polo in a box in the garage. It fits nicely. I kind of like having a bright shirt. But i wonder what it says about me. If anything at all. How it pairs with my pants and shoes and hair and says "Hey...make these assumptions about my character."

Could anyone guess i am pondering the philosophical repercussions of a race of humans who make decisions in ill-informed or blatantly ignorant states and so do not realize they are making mistakes because of it and are therefor doomed to repeat them?

Or that i am being struck with a strange new reality of what existence could be and what my life may have in store because of it?

That i fear companionship may never come because of the unique place i find myself in these days?

Could anyone see that in my new Ambercrombie & Fitch muscle polo?