Two Quarters

What if we ain't no parts of a whole?

Just two quarters striving to make a half?

Maybe i need a 75% to make me complete.

And so do you.

If there's ever a reason to be together maybe it has nothing to do with completeness.

Maybe we are just meant to make each other happy.

Maybe you just have a smile that makes me light up inside.

Maybe i just get happy sitting across a table from you.

Two cups of coffee in-between.

But i can't beat this thought of so many components building up my happiness.

That you have to be composed of a symphony to bring harmony to me.

But the thing about life is we know it before we understand it.

The math and science comes later.

So maybe two quarters is enough of a whole to make me happy.

Grind

I want to be cool. Or hip. Or something like that.

Not entirely sure why, but i had this thought last night while watching Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I think it was due to the fact that i was watching the dorky character played by the classic Michael Cera hit on girls and be successful. Whilst i have never had the ability to hit on girls. In fact i get nervous when a girl flirts with me. Go figure. But if insecure Scott Pilgrim can do it, why can't I?

Somehow my train of thought also wondered to my living situation, and some of the things i may acquire for Christmas. Including a hand grinder for coffee. And i saw myself sitting in some posh, downtown apartment, spinning the blades and grinding coffee and divulging information on how i roasted it myself in a popcorn maker to just the right darkness for full flavor enjoyment. All to some eagerly attentive, attractive young woman. And i liked that thought. Because we would sip coffee and discuss politics and art and life.

But this all leads me to thinking about money. And how i feel if only i had a better job i could afford to have the life i wanted. Not that i am not happy with the life i am leading, but if i am content now just how happy i would be with all the other things i desire! Haha. I loose God and turn to money.

But seriously. I live from pay check to pay check. I don't have any savings. I tend to choose not eating over eating at times. Although it has made me thrifty!

I think what i really want is just a little more security and less reliance on my father to bail me out. School just screwed me out of an extra $1,500 dollars. Loans are building. I want to travel the world but i am worried about paying off all this fucking debt i am accruing to get a "higher education." Fucking bull-shit.

In the end i am annoyed with the systems modern life has built. The monetary system. The schooling system. The work system. The political system. It is all sitting in a toilet waiting to be flushed, i feel we just need the minds to do it.

So i am wanting this. I am wanting the slightly better job, for that slightly better pay check, with no homework to worry about or classes to attend, so i can sit around and drink coffee and figure out how to fix things. Go along with the system just long enough to get what i need from it and make it in to something else. Hopefully something better.

And that is my attempt at redeeming a rant and turning it in to something thought provoking and useful. Haha. Publish post!