Cecelia

I should be writing a philosophy paper and/or editing a film right now, but of course I am inspired to write my first post in months on Blogspot.

I am kind of seeing someone now.  Or on the road to seeing someone.  Let's just say I have a lady friend.  We have had three dates.  I don't know how I feel about all of this.  Let's just say I am processing.

It has been nice.  She is cool, fun, intelligent, real.  But this is the first time I have ever just dated someone.  It is odd being so intimate with someone that I do not really know all that well.  While I feel I have learned a lot in a short amount of time, we are still forming those relational ties that make you feel like you know somebody.  Still feeling each other out.  Still learning who the other person is to the extent that one can learn about another, and feel comfortable with them.  But it has been comfortable thus far.

One of the things that I am a little concerned about is how she feels about me.  I am not sure what she is looking for as a far as a relationship goes.  Hell, I am not really even sure what I am looking for currently. Something somewhat consistent.  Though I have never done this dating thing where you get instantly intimate with someone and then face the possibility of moving on in a month or two.

She is also the most "worldly" girl I have been with, having only semi-recently left the Christian life.  Which is both nice and unnerving at the same time.  Having more secular friends is one thing, but dating someone is another thing entirely.  It solidifies things for myself in a way.

I think what it really boils down to is: I am new at this, and unsure about how to proceed, and there is a lot of pressure involved in this dating game.  But I think I am doing alright.  And if it doesn't work out, I already know what song I will be singing.

-Oh, I am also anxious about graduating, cause I may have fucked myself with this stupid little one credit course I forgot to show up to a number of times.  Hopefully not though!