I feel like i am living for the future, like the things of real meaning will be coming at any moment to sweep me off my feet. Only this is how i have always lived, forever watching the horizon for that spark of light. And this is how i continue to live.
Perhaps this is how i will always live too, because if i ever stop looking to subsequent things then maybe i will stop growing. Landon said that a "valid awe-striking question will always be: where will (I) be in a few years?" And this question expects me to have some foresight. Now, if my foresight is held in eyes that are content with my current situation, then will i want to move on? Or will i want to remain? Ben Gibbard doesn't want to be a remainder, and neither do i.
But i think i am missing something still. I don't ever want to be completely content with my locality, but i do want to be fulfilled in whatever predicament i find myself in, knowing i am in the center of God's will.
I think that is what i am looking for. God's will. God's will. God's will.
Why aren't there better sermons on knowing God's will for my life?
Is it wrong of me to feel that God thinks i am wasting my time in Biology this semester? In English 2? In Broadcasting?
Is it wrong of me to feel that God thinks i am wasting my time at Vineyard?
Is it wrong of me to feel that God thinks i am wasting my time? His time.
I am not entirely sure what i should be doing. One idea is to be raising a crap-load of money for a charitable organization. Mark and I are planning on biking from Santa Monica to San Francisco this August. The plan is to get pledges and send the money to people who need it. Anyone have any ideas for who we should send it to? I am going to be praying about it. Please join me (in praying that is).
